What are the chances?
Hello there PEOPLE!
So..
What are the chances that.. i'll continue to keep this blog alive? Sorry for my really late posts.. The last time i blogged was.. Jan? haha.. So much has happened since then.
I'm starting to come back to Singapore! And being more and mroe focus in my studies.. Well .. Sorta.
Its weird.. But i'm starting to like this guy. Just a gut feeling i guess..
After 6 months, I have FINALLY understood that, ONLINE RELATIONSHIPS WONT WORK. Honestly, No relationship will work if any one of both parties, are not willing to work towards a common goal. So.. I'm saying Goodbye to you.. Anyways, What are the chances that you will read this unknown blog of mine? :)
SOOOOO!!! Today was a rather.. Unproductive day. I woke up at 9 in the morning.. and played my lappy for most of the morning and afternoon. *Fable is a amazing game!* Then continued on to playing MONOPOLY with my sis in the evening. That freaking game lasted 3 hours 43 mins! And yes! I timed it! Hahahaha.. I won... (^-^) *So happy* Afterthat, We played.. Chess on my dad's ipad:) Got alot of "Draws". AND in the end.. Didnt even complete ONE chapter of notes.. or did ANY homework. Sigh...
Oh well.. I have to wake up early tomorrow.. Tuition and i have not complete tuition's HW yet! Naughty girl me.. Kids dont learn. :) THEREFORE, I'm going to sleep now people!
Have a great great day! Hope you drop by soon! :)
Thanks for reading! <3 p="p">
10:53 PM
Saturday, August 4, 2012
True Friends is what i want most
Yo people! I'm so bored right now.. Ya :) using my dad's iPad!! That cannot play anything and cannot download any app because it's PROCTECTED!!:) lol.. Ya I know I'm very boliao...
So I'm texting with yiyi now:) she got a new computer!!!! Super fast sia... Envy envy.. JOKKING!! :)
Sokay.. I'm going to end this really empty post here.. Thank you for reading and have a very very nice day!!:)
1:40 PM
Saturday, March 10, 2012
True Friends is what i want most
Suicide?
So you want to kill yourself? Because no one cares about you. Your family hates you. Right? No. Your parents walking in your room in the morning to only find a dead body. They’ll try their hardest to not think negative, and to just think that you’re fooling around. Then they’ll start shaking you. Why aren’t you breathing? They’ll be broken. Tears. Many tears. More tears than you ever shed. Was it them? Were they the reason you did this? More tears. Pain. Every day. Every night. Every single second of every day. Guilt. More guilt. What about your bestfriends? They’re not going to care. Right? No. What’s the first thing that will go through their mind when your principal comes in and tells the class that you’re not alive. While your bestfriend sits there in tears. That girl that you’d smile at but never talk to? She’s now crying. The boy who used to kick you under the table just to annoy you? He’ll be shocked. He’ll be devastated. He’ll blame himself. What about your teacher? Thoughts crossing her mind. She’ll question if you did it because she didn’t make school comfortable enough for you. Pain. Devastation. All in one. Who organises your funeral? Who has to go through your stuff? Clothes? Notes? Those few older girls who used to give you daggers at school? They’ll feel regret. They’ll blame themselves. See, if you killed yourself today, you’ll never know what might of happened tomorrow. You’ll never know because you’re dead. Plain dead. Not breathing. Not alive. Just dead. Your family hates themselves for it. Your bestfriend then falls into depression. Tears. Tears. More tears than a river. All because you killed yourself because you thought noone would care. Right? You are loved. By many. Someone right now is thinking of you. And right now, I’m thinking about anyone who has thought or is considering suicide. You are beautiful. No matter if you’re black, white, homo-sexual, tall, short, overweight or anorexic. You are beautiful. You want to kill yourself? Think about it first. There’s no coming back. And I promise, if you do it, you are not only hurting yourself, you are hurting many. You are creating more tears than you led yourself to. You are making everyone miserable and making them all feel guilt and pain. Never will they feel whole like they used to when they had you. You are beautiful. And you are never ever alone.
6:31 PM
Thursday, December 1, 2011
True Friends is what i want most
Believe
Nothin's impossible when you believe in yourself. Often it's difficult to truly grasp the idea that you can be the person you want to be, do the things you want to do, and have the things you want to have in life especially if you've had many failures in the past.
It can be easy to lose faith and start believing that you're no one special and that the life you've dreamt about is reserved for the lucky and talented. You must realize that you have in you more potential than you think. The people who achieve their dreams are people who put everything into them. They are the ones who failed over and over, yet got back up, dusted themselves off, and kept going. It's this level of determination that got them to where they are today.
The reason they keep going is because they believe they will eventually succeed even if there's no proof that they will. You must have faith in yourself. You must continually believe in yourself. Too many times we look at successful people and think how lucky and talented they are and forget that they went through many setbacks and failures to get where they are today. Never let that belief in yourself die. For when you let it die, your dreams die as well, and without dreams, life is pointless.
BElieve in
YOU!rself
Thanks for reading:D
12:18 PM
Saturday, September 17, 2011
True Friends is what i want most
i feel left out? and ignored.....
9:49 PM
Friday, September 16, 2011
True Friends is what i want most
My place in my family...
I finally know my place in my own family.. i am nothing.. i am just a person living in the house, a maid to this family, a slave for my mum, a punching bag, a person that doesnt need to be cared, a no-body..
My tuition teacher and friend gives more concern than my own freaking mother. Did you know that my mum dont care bout me? or just she doesnt show that she cares for me at all!!
"I hate you",
"Why are you even my daughter?",
"I dont want to see your face, irritates me.",
"Who the hell do you think you are to complain to me about Caryn?" (She said this when i told her about Caryn always hitting me for no reason. Before she said that, she beat me for complaining),
"Who say you can eat in my room? (when i am sitting on the floor eating in her room with Caryn who is sitting on HER bed eating. She said that to me only not Caryn)"...
This is only some of what she said to me. What type of mother is this?
Yesterday, I fell down when walking home after my cca. My skin on my knees were scrape off and was bleeding profusely. i was holding alot of things like my school bag, NPCC stuff, My family's dinner and 6 bottles of tea(which my mum wants). It was freaking heavy. When i reached home, my mum came out and i told her i fell. First reaction from her was, "Oh ok... Where's my mee rubus? ah ya.. and change?". I expected a like, "Are you okay?" or something like that but..? Nothing. she act as if it was nothing. Fine. i didn't care. Then i had to clean the wound right? Yes right. But my mum just keep asking me to do this, do that, scold me why the food is spilled, told me to clean the kitchen table after the mess she and my sister made after taking out their food. I didnt had time to clean my wound at all! The blood just flow down my leg and eventually onto my feet, making a blood foot print on the floor where i walk pass without me realising. My mum saw it and you know what did she say? She didnt say anything. She scolded me. and told me to clean the floor! I cleaned the floor. Then my tuition teacher came. Tuition time now. I still have a dirty wound and leg full of blood. What to do? Lucky my tuition teacher is really good.. she told me to clean my leg and she helped me put on the bandage.. She also extended the tuition time to replace the time used to clean my wound..:D This just shows how much my mum hates me.
Today, just just now, I was beaten by my mum. For no apparent/reasonable reason. She scolded me for eating in her room, when Caryn was also in the room. Caryn got to stay in the room and continue eating. I had to go out to the dining table where there is completely no one. Cause everyone is in her room eating or watching tv. Then, She suddenly scream my name. I went in and she said that there is food dropped by me on the floor where i sat a while ago. I looked at the floor and saw nothing. I told her there's nothing on the floor and she got angry. Saying that i am "rebelling" and "being rude" for "confronting her", She got up and beat the hell out of me. She just kept pulling my hair and hitting my head/face. I cant do anything. Just sit there and get beaten. What does this show? I am nothing to her. not even a little respect from her. Everything i do is wrong. Every single thing i do is offending her. She is just trying to find fault with me. Every single little thing i do, she will find something to beat me or scold me. Or even nothing at all!! What type of mother is this?
7:34 PM
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
True Friends is what i want most
I feel soo0o0o0 Good.. ta da ta da ta da ta!!! Hahas!!! Oh god it feels so good to know that a friend appreciates me as her friend!!! WOOHOO!!!
To: My AWESOME Dajie,
I <3 you DAJIE!!!! hahas..:D you give the best advises:D actually u r the only one that care enough to give me advise..:D Ur the best, the AWESOME-MOST!!!!! I am super SUPER DUPER glad, happy, lucky, to meet you and have u as my friend:D hahas..:D people usually say you just made my day.. but with that AWESOME letter of urs and whatever u did in the past, you just made my life brighter.. its brighter than the sun now!!!! hahas..:D Oh god.. Thank you so so so so so so so so so so MUCH!!!!! <3 you always:D p.s. I will make u a cert too!! (^-^)
Ur Best Friend forever,
Apple:D Carmen..:D
10:14 PM
Thursday, September 1, 2011
True Friends is what i want most
